SB Prop Bets for the Cowboys Fan

Somebody over at FoxSports.com wrote that the “Super Bowl Prop Bet’’ is “as old as time.’’ Actually, my research suggests it is only as old as William “Refrigerator’’ Perry. But either way, it’s a fine way for you, the Cowboys lover, to occupy your Super Bowl XLIII afternoon.

Trying to make some Prop Bets to generate some interest in today’s non-Cowboys Super Bowl? I’ll guide you into trying these Top 20 (Mostly Real) Wagers, but first, a history lesson:

Considered the Grandaddy of The Prop Bet, in 1986 Caesars Palace thought it had a little inside info. Bears coach Mike Ditka had suggested that he probably wouldn’t use William “Refrigerator’’ Perry as a short-yardage ball-carrier. So oddsmaker Art Manteris set it up: 20-to-1 odds against Fridge scoring a touchdown. America wanted a piece of that, maybe because it had seen the Chicago gimmick work over the course of the season, or maybe, as Time magazine once wrote, “there was a rare outpouring of public affection for the obese.’’

Fridge scored. Vegas lost, big-time. And, says Manteris, “it got media attention. From that moment on, Super Bowl props became a big deal.’’

So they are. So big that I’ve got 20 of ‘em for you:

20. How long will it take Jennifer Hudson to sing The National Anthem?’’ (I’m betting on “too long.’’)

19. “How many times will NBC’s John Madden bellow the word “Boom!’’?

18. “How many times will NBC’s John Madden mention food’’?

17. “If John Madden eats food as many times as he mentions food, how many times will John Madden’s digestive system need to go “Boom!’’ in the press box men’s room?’’

16. “Will there be a safety?’’ Bet “no.’’ Unless you think that Orlavsky guy is secretly suiting up at QB.

15. “How will the game affect the stock market?’’ (You mean there’s a chance that my 401K might go down from being a 101K?)

14. What are the odds that Joe Buck, having revealed that he doesn’t spend much of his free time enjoying watching sports, is spending this Sunday at a sewing bee?

13. Will Barack Obama call the winning team? And if he does, will Keith Olbermann get all school-girl-giddy about it?

12. Bet on the coin flip. Bet that a) the team that wins elects to receive, and that b) the guy who calls the flip calls “Heads.’’ Trust me. And you can split your winnings with me later.

11. “Which Super Bowl commercial will have a higher rating on USA Today's annual Ad Meter?’’ Right now, the GoDaddy commercial is 17/2. Get on that.

10. “Which teams’ cheerleaders will get more TV time?’’ (Hint: Pick the Cardinals. The Steelers don’t have cheerleaders.)

9. “How many times will Brenda Warner get shown on TV?’’

8. “Who will get tackled first by his hair, Troy Polamalu or Larry Fitzgerald?’’

7. Or, if Warner is shown on TV as many times as Polamalu, and Fitzgerald combined, will you pull out your own hair?

6. “Will NBC studio guest Matt Millen correctly pick the winner?’’ (Judging by his work as Lions GM, bet “no.’’)

5. Fan violence. “Which Item Will Be Caught On Camera Being Thrown Onto the Field By A Fan?’’ Coffee is 4/1. Beer is 5/2. Who’s going to drink coffee in the early evening at a football game in Tampa?

4. Religion. “Who Will The MVP Thank First?’’ (Kurt Warner’s playing. Let’s bet on “God,’’ shall we?)

3. Music. “Which Will Be Longer: The National Anthem, or Springsteen’s First Song At Halftime?’’

2. Food. “Will The Burger King Guy Score A Touchdown In A Commercial?’’ (Or will he be too distracted by The GoDaddy Girl?)

1. Wardrobe malfunctions: Will The E Street Band’s Clarence Clemons show some nipple?